This is not my ceiling
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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