I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
too bad you live with your parents still
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
