just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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