And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
