he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize