So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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