her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
