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• (646): View more from New York

  Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.

  (1-646): View more from New York

  what. the. fuck.

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• (831): View more from California

  No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?

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• (954): View more from Florida

  oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.

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• (716): View more from New York

  So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Woke up backwards on a recliner

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?

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• (956): View more from Texas

  tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it

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• (209): View more from California

  you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.

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