perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
