butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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