just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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