we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
did you just send me my own nude
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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