The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
