You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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