she woke up with a sticky ear
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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