My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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