he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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