i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
