How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
