Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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