I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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