I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
