So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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