My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
