on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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