Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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