White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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