Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize