You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
