I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
