You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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