I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
