i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
