whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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