I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I am one with the molecules
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
