u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
