Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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