I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize