She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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