Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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