Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
