Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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