you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
