i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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