no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
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