I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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