she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
