just tell him i said nine months
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize