i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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