Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
