What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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