Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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