I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize