I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
