God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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