He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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