Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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