Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
