the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
