My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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