weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
