It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
